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Can I Interest You In Hanukkah
Stephen Colbert
Text File
From "A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!"
Written by David Javerbaum and Adam Schlesinger, sung by Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.
Sunny figured this out - I just played the giant goy.
G Fdim Am D7
Jon: Can I interest you in Hannukah?
G Fdim C D7
Maybe something in a Festival of Lights
C D7 G E7
It's a sensible alternative to Christmas
Am D7
And it lasts for seven - for you - eight nights.
n/C
Stephen: Hanukkah huh? I've never really thought about it.
n/C
Jon: Well, you could do worse.
G Fdim
Stephen: Is it merry?
Am D7
Jon: It's kind of merry
G Fdim
Stephen: Is it cheery?
C D7
Jon: It's got some cheer
C
Stephen: Is it jolly?
D7 G E7
Jon: Look, I wouldn't know from jolly.
C D7 G G7
But it's not my least unfavourite time of year.
C
Stephen: When's it start?
D7
Jon: The 25th
G
Stephen: Of December?
E7
Jon: Kislev
C D7
Stephen: When is when exactly?
G E7
Jon: I will check
C
Stephen: Are there presents?
D7 G E7
Jon: Yes, indeed 8 days of presents
C D7
Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck.
C G Am G C
Stephen: Does Hanukkah commemorate events profound and holy? A king who came
G
to save the world?
Am D7
Jon: No, oil that burned quite slowly
n/C
Stephen: Well, it sounds fantastic!
n/C G
Jon: There's more! We have latkes
Fdim
Stephen: What are they?
Am D7 G
Jon: Potato pancakes. We have dreidels
Fdim
Stephen: What are they?
Am D7 C
Jon: Wooden tops. We have candles
D7
Stephen: What are they?
G E7 C D7 G
Jon: THEY ARE CANDLES! And when we light them, oh the fun it never stops.
n/C
What do you say, Stephen, do you want to give Hanukkah a try?
C G Am G
Stephen: I'm trying see me as a Jew, I'm trying even harder
C G Am D7
But I believe in Jesus Christ, so it's a real non-starter
G Fdim Am D7 G Fdim
Jon: I can't interest you in Hanukkah? Just a little bit?
Am D7 C D7
Stephen: No thanks I'll pass. I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potato
G E7 Am Gmaj7 Am G
pancakes. But I hope that you enjoy 'em on behalf of all of the goyim.
Am Gmaj7 Am G
Jon: Be sure to tell the Pontiff, my people say Good Yontif.
Am E7
Stephen: That's exactly what I'll do
n/c C D7
Both: Happy holidays, you
G
Jon/Stephen: Too!/Jew!
Jon: Too?