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The Vasectomy Song

Larry Heagle

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#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #
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Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:06:32 -0600
From: "Michael K. Moseley" 
Subject: Subject: PRO: The_Vasectomy_Song.crdpro by Larry Heagle

The Vasectomy Song                         by: Larry Heagle

Also performed by One-Man Johnson in Iowa City

Tabbed by: Mike Moseley (mkmosele@inav.net)

I heard this song on public radio about 15 years ago and have been
playing it for my friends ever since (taking time out for work, food,
sleep and personal time, of course).  For those of you not
knowledgeable,
the Vas Deferens is what gets clipped in a 'Vas'ectomy.

=========================================================================

[C]Well, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills[G]
The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent
And I think I'm a-gettin' the [C]chills
>From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a [F]home
We can't [G]afford no more kids
My life in on the skids
Cause my woman says, 'Leave me al[C]one'

Unless I get a va[G]sectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy
Just [G]one little male alteration,
can [C]save [no chord] us from an other altercation
It's a [G]vasectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy
Oh what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be."

[C]Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table
With the lights shinin' in my eyes[G]
They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my [C]thighs
The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfort[F]ably
When the [G]doctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to [C]me,
"It only hurts for a little while[C]
That's what they [Am]tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh"

[C]Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind is more at ease[G]
The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent
But my woman's no longer a [C]tease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in [F]me
Oh, the [G]girls all grin when I walk in
And brother they mean to [C]please

A man with a va[G]sectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy
Well, like a [G]Sunkist orange, I've been freed
Cause [C]it's [no chord] all juice and there's no seed
With a [G]vasectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy
Oh, what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . .[no chord]
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Want a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . . [no chord]
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue
What a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be.   [G]    [C] [G] [C]

=========================================================================

Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson.

I hope this brings a smile or at least a wince.