Peanuts by Stephen Lynch

"Peanuts" by Stephen Lynch
Tabbed by Captain Casualty

Another great tune. If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing him live, watch the 
clip (search for "stephen lynch orlando 2" or just "peanuts"). He switches up the lyrics every 
but you get the idea.

Chords: (I know some of the names are wrong.)

        Ab    Am    Gb   Gm           F     G
e|------5-----5-----3----3------------1-----3-------------------------------|
B|------5-----5-----3----3------------1-----3-------------------------------|
G|------7-----5-----5----3------------3-----0-------------------------------|
D|------7-----7-----5----5------------3-----0-------------------------------|
A|------5-----7-----3----5------------1-----2-------------------------------|
E|------5-----5-----3----3------------1-----3-------------------------------|

Intro/Verse:
Ab Am Gb Gm   Gb/Ab   <--slide from Gb to Ab

Chorus:
Ab Am Gb Gm  <--slightly different strumming pattern

Verse 1:
Ab                  Am
Charlie Brown had a big block head
        Gb                   Gm     Gb/Ab
wore a stripey sweater every day
Ab                       Am
Always tried to kick the football
          Gb                     Gm    Gb/Ab
but Lucy pulled the motherfucker away
Ab                   Am
Flew a kite just to try to relax
        Gb                       Gm    Gb/Ab
but he always put that shit in a tree
Ab                 Am
And a cute little redheaded girl
         Gb                        Gm
wouldn't give no play to poor Chuck B.

Prechorus 1:
F                                          G               Gb/Ab
They were the baddest fuckers in the funny papers PEANUTS!

Verse 2:
Onto a security blanket
Linus himself would latch
Snuggle into that bitch to keep warm
while waiting in the pumpkin patch
Had a stalker named Sally Brown
and she always tried to get her some
She loved how he knew the meaning of Christmas
and the sexy way he sucked that thumb.

Prechorus 2:
Marmaduke can lick it Garfield is a pussy PEANUTS!

Chorus 1:
Ab Am       Gb     Gm
Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Ab         Am          Gb    Gm
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Ab      Am        Gb     Gm
Take my hand, and let's dance now
Ab     Am              Gb        Gm
Under Charlie's shitty Christmas tree
F                        G            Gb/Ab   (back to verse)
(no lyrics here............) PEANUTS!


Oh, Marcy was best friends
with Patty, Patty Peppermint
She would love to do things to that girl
that Charles M. Schultz can't print
Pigpen was a dusty dude
who couldn't keep his own ass clean
All the teachers said wah wah wah wah
wah wah what does that shit mean?

Well Big Bird ain't the only yellow bird in town WOODSTOCK!

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Poor Charlie Brown you will never get laid
'Cause it's hard to get pussy
when you're the baldest kid in second grade

Lucy was a psychiatrist
but her comments always gave offense
And the bitch couldn't make no money
'cause she charge a motherfucker five cents
You know all the ladies love Schroeder
'cause he spun them '88s real good
and Franklin was a real cool cat
but the only brother in that hood

Sometimes you have to shout good grief unto the heavens GOOD GRIEF!

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
Snoopy fly your plane and fly it quick
You're the World War II flying ace
Make Red Baron suck that Beagle dick

Oh peanuts, crazy peanuts
A bunch of kids trying to be free
Take my hand, and let's dance now
under Charlie's shitty Christmas tree

Well that's it. I'm pretty sure it's right, but if not, feel free to correct. Rock on.

"Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life."
     -George Bernard Shaw

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