Paddy And The Barrel by Fureys PADDY AND THE BARREL (THE SICK NOTE) G C G DEAR SIR I WRITE THIS NOTE TO YOU TO TELL YOU OF MY PLIGHT. C G Am D FOR AT THE TIME OF WRITING I AM NOT A PRETTY SIGHT C G MY BODY IS ALL BLACK AND BLUE, Am C MY FACE A DEATHLY GRAY D G Am C AND I WROTE THIS NOTE TO SAY WHY PADDYS NOT IN WORK G TODAY WHILST WORKING ON THE FOURTEETH FLOOR, SOME BRICKS I HAD TO CLEAR, TO THROW THEM DOWN FROM SUCH A HEIGHT NOT A GOOD IDEA. THE FOREMAN WASN`T VERY PLEASED, HE IS AN AWKWARD SOD, HE SAID I`D HAVE TO CART THEM DOWN LADDERS IN ME HOD. NOW CLEARING ALL THOSE BRICKS BY HAND, IT WAS SO VERY SLOW, SO I HOISTED UP A BARREL AND SECURED THE ROPE BUT IN MY HASTE TO DO THE JOB I WAS TO BLIND TO SEE, THAT A BARREL FULLOF BUILDING BRICKS WAS HEAVIER ME. AND SO, WHEN I UNTIED THE ROPE THE BARREL FELL LIKE LEAD, AND CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE I STARTED UP I SHOT UP LIKE A ROCKET, TILL TO MY DISMAY I FOUND, THAT HALFWAY UP I MET THE BLOODY BARREL COMING DOWN! THE BARREL BROKE MY SHOULDER AS TO THE GROUND IT SPED, AND WHEN I REACHED THE TOP I BANGED THE PULLY WITH HEAD. I HUNG ON TIGHTLY, NUMB WITH SHOCK FROM THIS ALMIGHTY BLOW, AND THE BARREL SPILLED OUT HALF THE FOURTEEN FLOORS BELOW. NOW WHEN THOSE BRICKS HAD FALLEN FROM THE BARRELTOTHE FLOOR, I THEN OUT WHEIGHED THE BARREL, AND SO DOWN ONCE MORE! STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, MY BODY RACKED WITH PAIN WHEN, HALFWAY DOWN I MET THE BLOODY ONCE AGAIN! THE FORCE OF THIS COLLISION HALFWAY UP THE OFFICE BLOCK CAUSED MULTIPLE ABRASIONS AND A NASTY STATE OF STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, I FELL TOWARDS THE GROUND, AND I LANDED ON THE BROKEN BRICKS THE BARREL ROUND. I LAY THERE, GROANING ON THE GROUND, I THOUGHT I`D PASSED THE WORST, BUT THE BARREL HIT THE PULLEY-WHEEL THEN THE BOTTOM BURST! A SHOWER OF BRICKS RAINDED DOWN ON ME-I HADN`T GOT A HOPE, AS I LAY THERE BLEEDING THE GROUND-I LET GO THE BLOODY ROPE! THE BARREL THEN BEING HEAVIER, IT STARTED DOWN ONCE MORE, AND LANDED RIGHT ACROSS ME AS I LAY UPON THE IT BROKE THREE RIBS AND MY LEFT ARM, AND I CAN ONLY SAY THAT I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PADDYS NOT IN WORK TODAY! www.TAB6.com