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Stuart

Dead Milkmen

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The original tabs to this song, I noticed, had some minor errors on it. I transcribed the song myself, I think these are the correct tabs. e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------| D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other people, here, e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---| D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're good Americans. F D But they're content to sit back, maybe F E F D F watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick E F D F back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people, E F D F Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing C to the soil! e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------| D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid. e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---| D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl. F D F E F D Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never F E F ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy D F E breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. F D F Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's C the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are G# you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl." A# D# G# D# I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows G# D# G# the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you D# A# think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is going to know what the e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------| D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about ten years ago, e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---| D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride called The Mixer. F D F E F The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside D F E F D F the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just E F D F like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, C Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found G# A# D# his head over by the snow cone concession. G# D# A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet G# D# in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr. G# D# A# And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?" e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------| D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city, there's a big undeground homosexual population. e|-----------------------------------------| B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---| G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---| D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---| A|------------------3-3--------------------| E|-----------------------------------------| Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government F D F E F says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, E Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens. F D F They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God. C You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other F people, here in this trailer park.
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